When a woman loves him, and him, and him

It’s no surprise to any man out there or woman out there when they hear their single female friend say that its hard to find a good man. Don’t get me wrong, it is hard to find a man that fulfils all the realistic and unrealistic goals some women have in their mind but what does one say when a woman is maybe double or triple dating a man. Why would a woman with one good man continue looking and juggling more than one man.

Let me blow a myth that maybe you are not told, most women are juggling more than one man, even those that are not in a relationship are juggling more than one man, because to some extent women are greedy (you know you are even if you are not sleeping with the guy you are getting emotional succor from them). Women want to be satisfied on an emotional, sexual and financial level and most men while too busy being the big man around forgets one of those options and end up as one of the ring a ring a roses guy or with blue balls.

I love him but he is meaner than a closed clam! – Financial  

I don’t care who the woman is, if she is a Nigerian woman, she wants financial security. Don’t get me wrong this does not mean she isn’t working, but she wants to know that her money will be hers and yours will be ours. Now if you are one of those stingy men that is holding sex over her head before you show your hand, you will maybe get laid just enough times for you to be hooked and bring out that money, however once the money is out she will sting you so hard the blue balls will look like a Christmas tree while she is dating man who is open handed and gives great head!

Besides on an off point, a man who is stingy with money is stingy with sex, he is only in it for his own pleasure and since that is the case, take him for what you can and while he’s dangling see what else you can get!

 He gets me wet but can’t give me head! – Sexual

Let me say that not all women actually like receiving head, just like not all men like getting a blow job. Now don’t get me wrong, its not that its not pleasurable all in all, but it doesn’t get them off. However of the ¾ of women who do enjoy getting head a man who spends all the money on the world on a woman but doesn’t know how to get down and do some waxing is setting himself up to be a money man while another man is getting all the enjoyment she has to offer.

Many women will tell you when you meet them that they want financial security but what they tell their girlfriends is that they want the money but they also wants a man who can get busy and use his mouth and tongue with pleasure and dexterity.

If you don’t want to be the sucker who thinks he’s getting good sex while the other guy is getting fantabulous sex, then be willing to not just pay the cash but also tip the velvet.

 

He has the emotional intelligence of a constipated duck - Emotions

Many men don’t understand how easily they lose their women because they just cannot listen, empathize or remember to keep their dicks in their pants. Not to go all gung ho, but why do you think very ugly, little men manage to get those wonderful, effervescent girls, it not just because they bought them a drink; it’s also because they listen and have a good conversation.

You would be surprised the amount of women who have ended up bringing another man into their relationship because he satisfied the emotional need. I’m not saying love (this is slightly chemical, rationalization and realization), I’m saying taking the time to listen to her bitch and moan about work, life, friendship, the new shoes she saw, the stress of driving in Lagos, you name it he listened and now he’s the third person in your relationship.

The truth is as much as women say a good man is hard to find (and it is because you need to be all the above) it’s also difficult to find a good woman (because to be honest do you have the patience), but if you are willing to take the chance and do the above that girl who has been juggling you like a moo moo, is about to become the BEST, lay, love and partner you ever had. 

I would never date, marry or f**k a …………………….. man!

It interesting how despite many Nigerian women talk, about their wanting to meet someone and settle down, the physical and financial limitations placed on this requirement is astronomical, below are a few of the Nigerian woman’s I will never date, marry or f**k list.

I will never date, or F**K a Fat Man, but I will marry him.

Fat men like fat women in our culture tend to be viewed with slight awe and disgust. While in the earlier part of our civilization before our dear Western compatriots came and told us Fat would give us high cholesterol, heart attacks and any other number of diseases, a well padded body was considered healthy, wealthy and wise (ok scrap the wise but they were thought to be wealthy).

Now for a lot of modern women, an overweight man is generally seen as mentioned above as being slovenly and is not someone that they want to necessary been seen out in public with until the ring has been gotten and you can claim you are the one making his life better.

Dating – how can I go out in public with a FAT man? What would people think, they would think that the only sort of man who would want me is one that would suffocate me in his sleep, or one’s who’s backside can cover 3 cinema seats?

F**k – if I am under him, he might suffocate me with his massive girth, if I’m on top I might make him work too hard and then he will have a heart attack…… what if he falls asleep and dies from sleep apnea?

Marry – Well if I can manage to keep him alive during the sex and not be seen in public with him until after the wedding, at least I can say I’m now married to an obviously well off man!

I would never MARRY a Short Man, but I’ll DATE and F**k him.

Oooooh the pocket rockets, Harvey Smallbangers, Short stuff basically any man who is 5’6 and below are an interesting take for the average Nigerian woman.  To be honest many men in Nigeria are not growing as tall as they should be, the average Nigerian man is 5’7, 5’8 and the average Nigerian woman is 5’5. Based on law of averages and high heels the average height of a Nigerian woman becomes 5’8 or if you are one for 5 inc heels 5’10, so how do you reconcile the high difference, and more importantly what if you have a child, they could end up being 4ft tall?!

Date – This isn’t bad, afterall, he’s somebody to take places and if he has some money, he can afford to spend some on you, however if you are one of those women who is over 5’6 a short man can sometimes be for a short time.

F**K – What’s sex between friends, after all the sex is not for procreation and if Smallie can rock the boat why not take advantage of it. Of course sometimes you do it just to find out if Small equals Big down there or is the size comparable to the frame

Marry - Well while dating and f**king was fun, the prospect of being married to a man who you can see the top of his head when you are sitting, is not always the road to a life long relationship, but if he is cash rich with huge potential why not. However if you are also on the small side, you could end up with a child that’s 2ft tall. (Of course if you are a 6ft and over woman and you marry a 5ft tall man, you could end up with just the right sized child height)

I will F**K a Poor, Muscled Man but never date or marry him

A hot, tall, good looking, 8 pack rocking, hard bunned guy who is unfortunately poor as a church mouse. Don’t get me wrong he is educated and has a job, just not a good money making job and he is predisposed to making stupid choices such as wanting to become a model at 35, or wanting to break into the music industry (at the same age) or worse still has never had a job but is the most over educated pretty layabout you ever saw. How do you recompense the visual beauty that you can see with the reality which is you are going to be paying for everything even the condoms when you get together.

Marry – He’s fine, rocking that body but you can’t marry him because you want someone to pay for the ride, the Brazilian hair and waxing, to take care of you, after all you have been taking care of people all your life, and what will this man bring in. Even something as simple of taking you to a movie would be too expensive and you will spend the whole time going to his mother’s house to watch a N150, DVD, on an old style tv on plastic covered settee.

Date – Like marrying, dating would be a cash trip that requires you to always dig your hand into your own pocket. From buying the condoms to paying for the Mr Biggs food, dating this man is bad for your pocket but good for your aerobic health.

F**K -  Well if you are going to date a poor, hardbodied man why not take advantage of the up side which is having a hard riding session in the sack. Of course the truth is that even when you take him out in public you cannot go to a place that requires money being spent or around your friends who might ask, ‘ so what do you do?’ this is usually a recipe for disaster.

I would Date and Marry Over 85 year old man but never F**K him

Ok in these wonderful days where we now have Viagra and Nigeria being the extraordinary space where men old enough to be your great grandfather have no problems hitting on you and then having the gall to be pissed off when you reject them, just how far will you go with this one foot in the grave geezer.

Date -  Let it not be said that this is not a love match but on the off chance that it’s not a love match, dating this man would definitely provide you with if you are smart, a car, a house, holidays in exotic location, cash money (kindly make sure during this dating period if it doesn’t segue into marriage, the car, houses should be in your name, also don’t thing its gonna last forever so SAVE the cash). Also if you are seen in public together you just be very respectful and pretend he is a very elderly uncle.

Marry – Much has been said about marriage to an older man, after all its less likely you will be having sex with him all the time so you have more time to rest, go out with the girlfriends, spend the money.  Of course not all old men are ok for their young sexy wives to be running around town with the possibility of some young poor stud plugging the hole, so in that case you have to accept that you will never be far from his side at least until he’s dead. If that’s the case, make sure you are in his will, his family, kids etc have not gone to some babalawo to ruin your life because you took baba’s money. Or else that sex you did not have with him in life you will have to have in death.

F**K – There is nothing wrong with having sex with older men, and with Viagra you would at least get some bang for your buck but the issues is the DEATH BREATH. Yes you know how when you smell something from inside and you can smell the rot, well that’s the death breath. On the other hand theres the death rattle, that bit in the voice box that sounds wobbly and ready to crack, and with all that ‘exercise’ what if he ends up dead on top of you? What would you do?

So if you had a choice, who would you Date, Marry or F**K. Let me know by commenting below!

Not Perfect, Just Good Enough

Dear Pink Mafia,

I just ended my last relationship and I began thinking about my love life over the last 10 years (I’m 28) and I am stuck, I don’t understand why any of those relationships have not stuck, why I’m still single and searching despite my desperate want to be in a relationship . I’m kind of good looking, intelligent, I have a good job, I can cook, I dress well, I am all the things that men say they want in a wife and I can’t even get together a long lasting relationship (ok I might have to work on the humility thing).

In an analysis of my love life, I found that I have never had a long term relationship, honestly my longest relationship was 4 months and even with that I felt the relationship really ended 2 months in and I just hung on for the extra 2 months so I don’t follow the same pattern. I have been cheated on, lied to, one boyfriend hit me; one ran off with a friend, the list of what has been done to me is endless, but while those things have affected me, I honestly feel that I am open to a relationship. My friends say that I’m looking for a perfect man, but I’m not, I just looking for one that is good enough.

Dear Good Enough,

The search for love, is one of those things that has baffled everybody from time in memorial. While we search for it, sometimes we forget that it is a chemical reaction (which everybody wants to experience), the ultimate truth is that the search for love begins with the individual, are you looking to fall in love, or are you looking to walk into it with your eyes wide open and willing to take whatever might come?

Love is not delicate its very difficult, so a few questions for your to consider, What are you putting out there, what challenges are you facing that is causing you to not have a long term relationship, what are you really looking for and is that what you are asking for when you meet these men.

What are you putting out there?

Even though we as women are all that and a bag of chips, we sometime have an invisible sign held up saying I don’t need you, I’ve been hurt and I don’t trust you and many other subliminal messages that while in the beginning might be a challenge for a man, after a while it becomes a road block to them communicating with you and wanting to be with you.

Overcoming these signals takes a conscious effort, but it doesn’t mean that you forgo all of who you are or minimize what you have achieved, however you need to balance out the messages you are sending out with the person you want to become. It’s easier said than done but ultimately it is a day by day, step by step plan, that with hard work you can achieve.

What challenges are you facing?

The challenges I mean are not the men’s reaction to you but the challenges that have shaped who you are. There have been hurts and disappointments and while you have overcome them and tried to work around them, they are still there and they have not been dealt with, so whenever you go into a new relationship you drag the baggage of your past with you. If you really want to get a meaningful relationship in your life, deal with it or let it go, however don’t forget the lessons learnt us them to make better choices and decisions.

What are you looking for?

Women are not always honest with themselves, we say we want a tall, dark handsome man, but we don’t need him to be rich, or have a car, we can work with him and grow with him etc. The problem is that when you reach a certain age you are less likely to make concessions because you now want everything. You want a man who’s the full package and while you settle because you are accepting good enough the truth is that you are really holding out for perfect. So you know it not going to work from the beginning, but you really believe you can settle, but you are unhappy, and after a while you begin to sabotage the relationship because it’s not what you want.

The truth is if you accept that you want what is perfect for you, then you will only date those that are perfect for you. Unfortunately, since every woman out there is also seeking perfection, as they have been brainwashed to believe in romance books and movies, you might consider making a list of what you want in a man. Be truthful, it doesn’t matter if what you want is a kink, or a support or even the moon, nobody can see it except you and God. When you have the list, review it with an eye on reality, not that you settle, but be honest about your life and what is out the. If you don’t have any contact with the Hollywood glitterati, a NBA super star, the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and the chances of that ever happening are like NIL, work with what you have so that you can achieve your personal success.

When all is said and done, life is about self realization and also answering the most difficult question, so ask yourself truly are you ready to be in a meaningful relationship, or are you just trying to be like everybody else. If it is the former then let go of the old aches, pains and disappointment and move into your future, if it’s the latter be honest and live in your now, not everybody is married by 21 some marry latter and because of that they feel the love more deeply.

To Masturbate or Not to Masturbate?

Dear Pink Mafia,

I am scared, I’m doing something that I’m afraid will either cause me to end up eternal damned or unable to find love or sexual pleasure with a man.

I started masturbating at the age of 19, for me it was just a way of finding pleasure, it wasn’t a big deal and all in all it was always fulfilling.  This is not to say I did not have boyfriends but when I was inbetween men or even when I was not I masturbated. 

My problem started 2 years ago about when I 23, I realized that I had started to masturbate more frequently in from once a week to 3 times and now at 25 I find that I am masturbating 6 days a day! I can’t seem to stop, its almost as though every moment I can get I must masturbate.

The problems keep piling up, I recently joined a new church and all I have been hearing is that people who masturbate will go to hell and I don’t want to go to hell because I can’t stop stroking the fur.

Finally I’m afraid that I will never be able to feel pleasure with a man again.  The last 2 relationships I have had with lasted 6 months each approximately did not satisfy me sexually (and I am going to hell because I fornicated), and I think that the 6 times a day masturbation is ruining me down there and eradicating my ability to be aroused without being actively involved.

Please help me Pink Mafia, before my hoo haa turns plastic!

Desperately masturbating

 

Dear DM,

I can understand just how distressing this is for you, regardless of what say to people you are either going to get one of numerous responses:

• ·         Stop now or you will go to hell
• ·         At least you never have to worry about getting yourself off

This is the least of it, and this of course does not include the humiliation of possibly getting caught every time you go off to masturbate.

This is a difficult subject because there is no one way to eliminate your problem and I will admit it is a problem.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t agree that a grown up, mature woman should not masturbate; the issue is the excessive nature of it. There are varying reasons you might be excessively masturbating, from maybe abuse as a child and now in adulthood you are reacting to it, to the possibility that you are a sex addict and when you are out of a relationship or even when you are in the relationship, you are addicted to the feeling you get and finally it could be as easy as you having an genital infection. 

All of the above 3 require medical assistance (for 2 its counseling, for 1 its medical), and irrespective of if you feel it’s none of the above you do still need help in the form of counseling after you go for a medical checkup.

There are some things however that you can do in the interim to control your behavior and also to begin finding out why you are exhibiting this behavior recently.

1. Why did this behavior start?

Your excessive masturbation began at a very specific point in time as mentioned above, it is important to know what happened at this time and why you reacted to it in the manner.

2. What are you afraid of?

Sometimes our fear translates itself into an external manifestation, to this end you have to ask what are you afraid or concerned about that might be causing you to express yourself this way (this is sometimes related to the above)

3. Where do you find you exhibit this behavior the most?

The reason it is important to identify where you are most likely to masturbate is to firstly help remove you from the place where you might be inclined to exhibit this behavior, but secondly and most importantly the place you masturbate could also be related to the above changes and feelings noted.

While what I’m going to tell you next is not the solution (you still need to sit down with a counselor to sort out the increase in your behavior) the following might help you reduce you current masturbation.

1. Get rid of your toys

Like all those trying to quite a habit, you have to get rid of the items that are assisting you in this behavior. To be honest if your main toys are you hands, I can’t say to get rid of them; however wearing gloves at night might help in some part to reduce the use of them, particularly if you are more active either at night or in the morning. 

2. Find a consuming hobby

This is trite but finding things and ways in which to distract yourself is also a good way to stop you from obsessing about your obsession.  The hobbies could go from exhaustive activities such as dancing, sports or board games to something more simple like reading.

Like all addictive despite doing all the above is a stop gap, the problem unfortunately is that sometimes no matter how much you try to stop, if you don’t deal with the underlying cause of this problem, you might never get healed.

For the religious end, as I always say, I am neither Pastor, Imam, Rabbi or Religious leader of any form but from a counseling perspective I do not believe that you will go to hell for masturbating. However, after a while you might end up feeling that you are in hell because the continual over stimulation of the clitoris, nipples etc will cause friction burns, dry skin and or nerve damage. 

She’s dating a married man, but they don’t sleep together?!

Dear Pink Mafia,

I have met the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, I love her, I cannot stop thinking about her and I have proposed to her, but I have one big problem, she’s with somebody else.

My love has according to her been dating a married man for 3 years, which has its own issues, but what has me confused is that supposedly they have never slept together and he gets jealous when she’s speaks to me or about me, I’m lost.

How do I make this wonderful woman realize that she has a jewel in me, a single guy who want to give her the world as opposed to this married man who has nothing to offer her.

Yours

Lost in Love

Dear Lost in Love,

I am sorry to tell you the girl is playing you! Yes I said it she is playing you!

Let me start by saying that regardless of the issues that there are with her dating a married man, the fact that she is supposedly dating this man and they have never had sex, but she feels that he has a right to be jealous of her time. In addition to this, for her to be going out with you but isn’t willing to discuss a relationship when I imagine she is giving all the signs that she wants a relationship tells me that she is either not serious about you or she is using this ‘relationship’, to taunt you or the other guy.

For me to determine if this is love or infatuation on your side, I have to speak to you first and understand how this relationship evolved. However, as it relates to your girl’s thinking, let me break it down like you are 6 years old.

·        

      She likes you but is trying to see how hard you will work

\

This girl might really like you, but feels like she cannot open herself to you so she wants to see if even with this barrier you are still willing to try.

This is dangerous, because she might be reacting to trust issues that she needs to sort out and she is using your dedication to her to drive her needs for security.

·        

      She’s using you against the other man

She might be right she might have a relationship with the other married man, but I doubt it’s all just talk. If this is the case she might be using you to make him jealous to show he’s hand and choose her over his wife or to push him into doing something else.

This is also dangerous because regardless of what you do, you will never secure her love, so you might just have to let it go.  

·         She doesn’t like you and doesn’t know how to tell you

Sometimes women to avoid hurting men’s feelings do something stupid, they lie and when they feel they are about to be caught out expand their lie and before they know it, it gets away from them. It could be as the book said, ‘she just not that into you’.

Since that might be the case you have to let it go!

I know none of the above is really reaffirming, because after all you want me to say fight the good fight, but the truth is you could be out there finding the woman who’s right for you instead of wasting your time with the woman who’s all about playing a game on you. 

MAMA KNEW HE WAS RAPING ME

Dear Pink Mafia,

I was 7 when my father started raping me, he said that this was my way of paying him back for having me and this continued until I was 13 years old and went to boarding house.

While I have dealt in some part with what happened to me (there is still much to be done to help me understand what and why he did this) the thing that I can’t get over after years of therapy is that during all this time, my mother knew because I told her. Her response at the time was either to beat me, to tell me to stop lying about my father or just ignoring me.  

The issue came to a head during my father’s funeral (a day that I wore a very short red dress to, to show my total and utter lack of respect for the man) when I arrived and my mother flew into a rage because I was not ‘dressed appropriately’.  According to her, I was disrespecting him and I was a whore afterall I am still unmarried at 35 and a few other choice words were used to describe me, again we got into an argument and I raised the point that during my childhood this man systematically sexually abused me and undermined everything that I understand a father and daughter relationship is meant to be and she knew.

Her response ‘it was the only way I could keep him and I always knew you would leave me but he I could make stay and you helped’!

As you can imagine Pink Mafia, I am distraught, lost and quite ready to murder the woman in her sleep. Please help.

Matricide on my mind

Dear Matricide,

I am so sorry that this happened to you. There is no excuse for this to happen much less from your father and it turns out in full knowledge of your mother, it is inexcusable on so many levels.

Reading over your mail, I cannot ask you to forgive and forget because there are scars that have been inflicted on you by these people that cannot be dealt with immediately, so I hope you are getting counseling to understand the deeper issues that have been inflicted on you.

I will touch on a few of the items that were raised and hope that they can bring you some measure of peace and keep you from killing your mother.

 

Abuse

Men such as your father are seriously disturbed, for varying reason, be it medical, sociologically or otherwise and these men require treatment.  Unfortunately our society being such as it is where the fear of ‘exposure’ is seen as a stain on the family reputation and not on the person’s means that many such abuses are being kept under wraps. As I noted above this is not something that can be rectified on the pages of this blog, instead I would advise you to see a counselor to fully explore the repercussions of this.

Complicity

I am sorry to also say that you mother also seems to have some serious emotional and psychological issues, that might stem for either abuse when she was also young or alternative a sociological issue. You cannot heal her and the best you have done as a start was to confront her, the next step if she and you are both willing is to go to counseling.

I know that you will be disinclined to sit down and talk to this woman without some explanation that will satisfy you, but unfortunately she wouldn’t have one, until she can accept and understand that what she has done is wrong.

35 and unmarried

I could sweep this under the carpet and say that the reason you are unmarried is because you were raped by your father, and that is a part of it. However, a greater part of it is that due to what happened to you, there is a break in what you consider a trusting relationship, again until you can come to term with what has happened to you and accept that not all men are like your father this will continue to plague you.

Loving an older woman

Dear Pink Mafia,

I am a 20 year old man who’s in love, unfortunately for me my love is rather unusual.  I am in love with a friend of my mother’s, and she is 53 years old.  I have always known Mrs R, she’s been a friend of my mother for as long as I can remember however about 2 years ago after she separated from her husband she began coming over more often and we began speaking, before I knew it, we had started an affair.

2 years on she is ready to divorce her husband and we want to be together, my concern though is that despite what everybody says about cougars and how older love is better love, I want to be with this woman, but I don’t know how to tell my mother and how do we explain to her children (who are my age) that this is the new family dynamic.

Desperately loving an older woman

Dear Desperately Loving,

I am sorry to say you are not in the right country to be ‘loving’ an older woman openly. In many places in other parts of the world (that is not Nigeria) an open relationship with an older woman particularly one in her middle ages is not considered a taboo, in fact many Hollywood relationship in recent time seems to thrive on the discrepancy age, however in Nigeria the truth is a young man in love with an older woman is not easily accepted, if ever. 

To discuss the full spectrum of your love for this older woman would take so much space but would really not answer the deep cultural and sociological issues we face in Nigeria that makes this type of relationship so difficult, so what I will do is to answer the questions you asked above.

How do I tell my mother?

Telling your mother will depend on the type of relationship you have with her, and also how liberal your parents are. Dropping this sort of news on your mother can be shocking, because other than Mrs R being her friend, she also has expectations of the sort of life she wants you to have, and if she’s a typical Nigerian mother that includes a wedding and grand children which her friend might not be able to give.

Irrespective of the above, I can pretty much guarantee you that there is going to be a lot of bad feelings stemming from the fact that this was going on behind her back and under her nose and joined by the fact that the relationship is with a friend of hers and your possible implications in the divorce of her friend. All of this, coupled with good old fashioned, ‘what would my friends and family think of me, that I raised a child who would rather be in a relationship with someone my age rather than a young woman’, is bound to make this a very difficult time for all involved.

How do we explain to her children (who are my age) that this is the new family dynamic?

In this you face the same situation as telling your mother. Her children already have knowledge of you either as a play mate or the son of a family friend, so you coming into the family as their mother’s partner  will NOT be accepted automatically if ever.

Their mother will have to sit them down and explain the changes that have occurred in her life and her decision to be with you. There will be many questions on who strayed, why she decided to begin a romantic relationship with you and many who, what, whys, and wherefores.

Warning

This is a bold step you are taking and one I hope you are undertaking with deep thought, but you have to be sure that this is what you want to do. You cannot make this decision based on youthful exuberance disguised as love,  there are many lives that will be compromised.

I also think that it is important that you sit down with Mrs R, and understand what taking this step might mean for both of you, isolation, demonization, insults and maybe being ostracized from the life you once knew and loved. 

Freaky Dicky Sex..... you thought it was over

Hello Again,

I bet you thought we were out of the freaky dicky sex thing, but then i found the most amazing item online that helps those of you who are all about the long distance sex and wanting to get hot and heavy online.  So these are 3 hard earned rules for effective skype sex!

http://jezebel.com/5928993/three-hard+earned-rules-for-effective-skype-sex

Freaky Dicky Sex Pt 2

SM play

Sado- Masochistic play, yes it sort of sounds scary but it really means that you like to indulge in a bit of tying and spanking (well a bit is also dependent on your pain tolerance, and how much of a BAD boy or girl you’ve been!). S and M as its more commonly known makes many people respond in the old adage ‘I don’t want someone beating the crap out of me for sex’, but things are not as easily explained as that.

S and M is also about control and release of control, some people find that being in control all the time is exhausting and they want to hand over that control to somebody else and in so doing clear their mind and focus on just what the other person wants, such people are also sometimes called submissives. On the flip side there are some people who want to be in control or just generally like being in control, for them the feeling of knowing that they are responsible for theirs and another person’s pleasure or pain is stimulating and empowering, these people are also sometimes known as dominants.

Never take it for granted that a submissive is automatically less than a dominant because a dominant cannot be who they are if somebody doesn’t give them the control.

Things to bear in mind before going into S and M:

• ·         Take it slow – there is absolutely no reason to jump into S and M, because until you both understand each other’s pain tolerance and try varying levels of spanking with hand, paddles, canes etc you cannot start full fledged.
• ·         Have a safe word – Like the rape fantasy you need a safe word for when the pain gets too much or when you become uncomfortable
• ·         Research – I would never advice anybody to go into S and M without some research, this is important because there are many aspects to this type of sex and without proper preparation, the rewards are not as plentiful as they could be.

Sex outside

There is something thrilling about having sex outside with the possibility of getting caught, sex outside is one of those freaky things that is not really considered freaky by those who have done it and scandalous by those who have not.

To undertake this unfreaky freak, follow the following steps:

• ·         Already know the place you want to try this out, it cannot be too secluded, but unless you are an expert it can’t be too public either
• ·         Be willing to take a chance, sometimes when you are having sex outside, you might think you hear a noise hold still and see if it’ll pass, this adds to the thrill of being outside
• ·         Women wear a free flowing skirt or dress, its easier to have on something that can fall easily during this time allowing for some privacy and secrecy, also if someone is coming you can easily drop you skirt not so pulling up your trousers
• ·         Have a car nearby for any quick getaways you might have.

Asking for Freaky Sex

For many people asking for freaky sex is terrifying, particularly if you don’t have a good communication base with your partner. Many people are afraid of how they will be viewed and how their partner will perceive them forgetting that if you cannot tell you partner everything you want and feel you will end up in a frustrating and frustrated relationship.

Steps that can help you to ask for it;

·        

Tell your partner your fantasy – At every point in a relationship the fantasy question arises, and this is the point where you have to be honest, ease into the highlights of what you want to try and if asked for greater detail embellish it.

·         Speak to a sex counselor – Sometimes it’s not the talking that causes a problem its how to say it. In such circumstances a sex counselor can provide a buffer to interpret what you want and allow you to express that part of yourself.

So if you are in the mood for freaky dicky sex try some of what you’ve seen and if you are brave enough let me know if it was good for you!

Freaky Dicky Sex Pt 1

You've all heard about that guy/girl who is a FREAK!!! Your heard that they do things that your partner would never dream of much less think of, and every time you want to get down and dirty and bring out the freaky dicky sex in you, you just don’t know how to talk about it to your partner and you don’t know if they'll think you are just wrong.

What we are going to do is talk about 4 key acts that can be considered Freaky Dicky and also how to ask for it! This is Part 1, Part 2 is just around the corner.

Anal Sex

To hear people talk about anal sex, you would think it was the worst thing since having sex in any other way than missionary. Men and women alike talk about how they would never engage in anal sex, how disgusting, and awful it is.  

The truth if surveys are to be believed is that anal sex is on the increase among heterosexuals (in 2005 it was recorded that 38.2 percent of men between 20 and 39 and 32.6 percent of women ages 18 to 44 engage in heterosexual anal sex. Compare that with the CDC’s 1992 National Health and Social Life survey, which found that only 25.6 percent of men 18 to 59 and 20.4 percent of women 18 to 59 indulged in it).  

What is meant by anal play; this is best defined as any action that involves the stimulation of the anal passage (so we are talking licking, inserting of fingers, insertion of the penis or any other foreign object in the anal passage).

Despite the fact that many shy away from it, it is to be noted that the Male G spot is in the anus and many a woman has admitted to stimulating it by the insertion of their finger. For women a different feeling of pleasure/pain can be gained from this experience.

To undertake anal sex bear in mind the following:

• ·         Use a lot of lubricant - since the anus does not produce any natural fluids and you need to lubricate to allow for easy movement
• ·         Use a condom - you can get as many STI and STD’s from anal sex as vaginal sex
• ·         Train the anus – you can use varying anal expanders/ butt plugs to 'train the anus to accept bigger sizes over time, this will also aid the process of having the actual sex.
• ·         Try a colonic – you can never be certain what is stuck up there and like I advice that you clean up before entertaining a head of blow job its important to do the same for anal play.
• ·         Trust -  is one of those things easily spoken about but rarely truly given, to have anal sex, you have to trust your partner otherwise you’ll be jittery, tighten unconsciously and generally have a miserable experience

Rape fantasy

Though women don’t talk about it, many have a rape fantasy.  This doesn't mean that they truly want to be raped, it just means that they have the urge to give control away and indulge in the ‘if someone snuck in, in the middle of the night thing’.

Having such feelings does not make you terrible or jonesing to be actually raped by an unknown person, it is a control release fantasy, and for many men the opportunity to bring out the stealthy part of their personality can be both freeing and stimulating.

To go about enjoying and taking part in a rape fantasy, here are a few pointers:

• ·         Make sure it is your partner you tell the details of your rape fantasy, because if it’s a random person who finds out about this and has sex with you it is RAPE and no longer a fantasy!
• ·         Agree a safe word – it is important that if the fantasy is becoming less fun and more terrifying you can use the word to STOP. These words can be anything from Apple, to SpongeBob, just don't use a word that you would normally use during that time like 'umm', 'haaa' or the simple 'idiot'.
• ·         Trust – in all things to do with freaky sex, you have to trust each other otherwise the experience would be less exciting and stimulating and more terrifying and debilitating.
• ·         Agree entrances and exits – Don’t have a rape fantasy and while your partner thinks they are coming through the door you only leave the window open, such mistakes have caused many a near death experiences, and police arrests. Nothing is more embarrassing than having to explain to the police that 'we were play acting he was going to rape me and you arrested him'.

That's it with Part 1, join us next time in Part 2 as we talk SM Play and Sex Outside!

Have Sex Like a Porn Star!!

It’s every woman’s dream to be able to give their man the type of sex that makes a porn star blush and every man’s wish to sleep with a porn star. On the flip side its everywoman’s dream to be able to have a man who can do what she wants the way she wants like the porn stars seem to do and every man’s dream to not have comparison’s made with the ex, the first or worse still that guy with the HUGE!!! On screen, so this is Pink Mafia’s Guide to having sex like a porn star.

Let me start that I say sex not make love because what porn stars do is sex at its basic non emotionally connected way.  If you want to make love, then you are talking emotions, love (or at least affection) and a lot more soft lighting. To have sex like a porn star we are talking sweat, well generally fluids of all kind, a bit of acrobatics, some awesome yoga moves and not forgetting experimentation. It is also important to note that in porn movies, there are *fluffers and you can always cut and restart again.  This is not true for the real world, in the real work, you get dry, cranky and parts of your body you never knew existed begin hurting BAD.

So before you undertake this journey (and trust me if you don’t plan this well it’ll seem like a 10 year journey into the Sahara) here are a few steps.

·         Begin simple stretches to relax your joints and muscles

·         Have a massage, you need to be supple

·         Buy lube, since you are in for the long haul you need to keep lubricated

·         Drink a lot of water, hydration is key

Part of the preparation for sex like a porn star also includes the physical not just the internal so,

·         Clean up down there (shave, wax, or just make sure it looks neat)

·         Get something sexy to wear; nobody wants to fuck a porn star with tatty underwear

·         Don’t spray perfume on your private part, it hurts, it smells funny after a while and its bitter

7 Steps to getting down!!!

1.       Inhibitions – are your enemy, porn stars don’t have inhibitions, they go out and experience all that there is to, so don’t be coy and remove your dress slowly (women) and don’t be overly focused on the goal (men) go in there with confidence and awareness that your sex is the best

2.       Lube up – porn stars swear by lubes (all types, spicy, peppery, flavoured, or just plain) because it keeps the movement free and easy, nobody wants to feel as though they are having sex with sand paper and after a while everybody gets dry

3.       Positions – anybody who has watched a porn film knows that positioning is key, positions for deeper penetration, positions for make sure the G spot is always hit, change position, experiment.

4.       Dirty – don’t be afraid to get dirty, and by dirty I means sweaty, hair mussed, and smeared with fluids, porn stars are not about the looking pretty during sex, they are about getting maximum pleasure

5.       Use your Mouth – yes ive said it in other blogs, but I cannot say it enough, from 69’s to blow jobs, head, licking, biting your mouth provides another avenue to increase pleasure

6.       Pain – if you are inclined towards pain, a little bit of spanking and scratching can make a whole lot of difference

7.       Voice – porn stars use their voices a lot, from moaning and screaming to, talking dirty and saying just how they want it, free your voice let it fly!

Now if all of this doesn’t do you like a porn star, then come talk to me and we’ll find out just what is blocking you!

*fluffers – people whose job is to make sure you stay hard if you are a guy and wet if you are a woman

She’s hairy but I like it!

I once had a client who told me of his fetish for hairy girls, I mean it wasn’t enough that they has hair on their arms, and were furry down there, no he wanted them fully covered, armpit, legs, no bikini shaving/ waxing in fact if she had chest hair it was an added bonus, and to see this man you would never guess. 6ft 1inc, toned, built and loaded, and he has a furry fetish
.

Another had a thing for women best described as Hottentots, small tops (like size 8’s) and enormous backsides (size 22).  For him the bigger she was from the waist down, the better, he loved the cellulite the puckering and the fat. 

Finally one that surprises most people are men who like women with body odor, not slight it’s a hot day and she smells of body not perfume, but women who after they leave the room the odor stays for a few days and have a party.

I know, to many people what ive just described is disturbing, women with chest hair, women’s whose backside is still in the house when they are at work and women whose body odor has a life of its own, but there is a world out there of women who are like this and they are thriving and have partners, and are loved for themselves.

So what makes a woman most people would consider ‘just not right’, the right pick in the man/ woman games…........ Niche Marketing.

There’s a term known to the marketing sorts called niche marketing. Niche marketing is the subset of the market on which a specific product is focusing. So the market niche defines the specific product features aimed at satisfying specific market needs.

 This for those not concerned with product marketing, this simply means there are some things that attract a subset of society so if you have it, flaunt it, and throughout history these women considered by many others as not conventionally attractive due to the above is not a new phenomenon.

In China when women’s feet were bound, poets wrote long, lyrical poetry about the perfume of the rotten feet, because to them the smell of the feet is evocative of the smallness of feet, daintiness of the woman of course the smell that being such produces.

Throughout history, the hip endowed women have been noted as being of great attraction, because of their child bearing capability and also of key examples of what it means to be feminine.  In fact till today, it is said that men like women whose waists are at least 10 incs smaller than their hips because the more curvaceous shape is revealed.  To this end, the big hipped women continue to follow this ideology however to a much more conspicuous amount. After all, what other reason would western women of old  want to wear a bustle to give them a larger backside or an antebellum ball gown to give them wider hips.

The one that most men however rarely want to admit to, is their love of a hairy woman, they believe that admitting to liking such women says something about their sexuality. The truth however is much simpler, if you are to believe science we are all descended from apes, and the feeling of fur/ hair can be both comforting and erotic, after all, which woman hasn’t given some sort of hair job.

Accepting yourself

If you are any of the above women who is yet to understand and accept the power of her uniqueness, here are a few tips to help in the process and also give you the upper hand.

1.       If you have it flaunt it -  this does seem like a bad idea particularly if we are talking body odor, but the truth is that some issues of odor has to do with your glands and there is little to nothing that can be done about it, so own it and deal with it.If it bothers you change it – While odor can be fixed to some degree (baths 3 times a day, use of antiperspirant, and carrying of perfume and antiperspirant to help with the smell) other things such as a large hip cannot be changed, but it can be dressed well to reduce the prominence. For a hairy chest, waxing, or electrolysis can reduce this and give you the smoother chest you want, but only if you want this, don’t do it to make someone else happy.

Finally its not enough that someone loves you, you have to love yourself, start with that and the rest as they say is only a drop in the ocean of your life.

She’s my spec and that’s it

Many men feel very uncomfortable admitting to their predilection for the above type of women, and since men as a whole like to date women that they believe their friends would like to date, not necessarily the sort of women they like, its difficult to admit that the type of woman you like is not typical. Irrespective of this, the important thing is that if you like these women, don’t be ashamed of it, they are your spec, and if she makes you happy, whose concern but yours is it what she looks or smells like!

I'm sorry to inform you the baby is not yours!

Survey carried out by Durex in 2011 showed that Nigerian women are more likely to cheat than any other woman in the WORLD!!! When you couple that with the fact that in research carried out in 2010 8 out of 10 children born are not the children of the men they call daddy, then you have the basis of WTF?!!!

So what do you do when the child you call yours turns to belong to some long forgotten man she doesn’t remember?

Men

Do I Love You?

This is the first question the man who finds himself in such a situation should say.  

I know it’s easy to say but after the first hours, days, weeks maybe even months of anger on this issue, you have to ask the following questions:

·         Do I love this child?

·         Does this child still feel like my child?

·         Do I want to keep this child?

If all the answers are YES, then you really do need to consider what that means and examine the possibility of family counseling, because if this goes on to break you relationship with your partner how are you going to handle the relationship with your child.

If all the answers are NO, you need to really be out of this child’s life, because as much as it will hurt the child to be without a father, it would hurt them more to have to deal with their father not loving them irrespective of what they do.

Is it worth it?

This question is one that applies to both your relationship with the child and the relationship with your partner.

Unfortunately this is not an easy fix answer and that is something you have to work out with a counselor, but before you get to that stage examine your feeling for your partner, do you really think you can get over the betrayal, and are you truly ready to forgive. 

Sometimes saying I forgive is not the same as actually forgiving that takes time and deep thoughts, but being able to forgive will allow you peace of mind and even if you chose not to continue in the relationship you will get some closure, which would help you move on with the rest of your life.

Women

It just happened

Chances are short of rape, it didn’t just happen, you knew at one time that there might be a discrepancy between the time you had sex with your partner and the time you had sex with the other person which brought about this child and dhile you might have felt justified in misleading these people in your life for whatever reason, now that you have been found out, apologise and seek amends.

Listen to the feelings your action has brought about but this does not mean that you should stand for physical, emotional, spiritual or any other form of abuse.

He raped me.

If this is the case and in many cases this has happened, you also need to explain this and discuss this with your partner, and you also need to go to come to terms with what has happened and how you can begin working either with your partner or yourself to get over this.

Child

This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong, this sounds trite but that is the very simple truth. 

What Makes Men Fall in Love?

Have you ever wondered how to make a man fall in love with you?
Are you in a relationship where the man is just not all in Love just kinda hanging around the edges of Love?
Well find out What Makes Men Fall in Love?
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/What-Makes-Men-Fall-in-Love

Virginity: Gift or Curse

So you've been saving your virginity all your life for the right man or woman. When all your friends were dating and sleeping with their boyfriends and girlfriends, you were waiting for the right person who will fulfil you marry you and share with you this gift of the first time.

However there's a problem, for one of you, you've never found the right person, after years of searching you are still a virgin, you are stuck between fear of never losing it and on the other hand you hold it as a ransom over your partner.

For the other person you did get married but the person you married was also a virgin and things are not going the way you expected, the sex is not as fulfilling as you expected, in fact after the first painful experience you spend your time counting the tiles during sex. So how do you reconcile what you are meant to be feeling with the reality which is not very appealing.

The question now remains is it worth holding on to your virginity when you can't lose it even if you left it on the road for sale to the cheapest bidder or when you finally lose it and the sex is crap!

The truth is that it takes a lot of courage, discipline and fortitude to retain your virginity, in today's society, and if you are saving it for something then more props to you, your choice, so don't give it away under the pressure of fear, instead review what your plan is and what you are doing to achieve your aims.

Looking for the one
Are you one of those people that when you first meet a potential you preach on about the power of virginity? Well while many would say they love a virgin, many more cant handle the responsibility and would shy away from it.
That is not to say don't talk about the fact that you are a virgin, just don't do it on the first date in the first hour.

Consider online dating.
Many people will tell you that dating online is filled with lonely, sad, psycho, and trust me there are many of those. The truth though is there are as many of the above offline as online, but the good thing is that you don't have to commit to anything until you have chatted online, then on the phone, done some investigation online and off (this is Nigeria, its a small country if you can get a name, location, and place of work, you can find out anything about the person) then you go for a meeting/ date; during the day preferably in a very well lit area.

After Marriage WTF?!

If after you meet the one and you have sex and the sex is horrid, well what next, do you accept your lot or go out of your marriage to seek that thrill?

For both suggestions NO!

If the sex is bad talk about it. I imagine that after years of holding on to your virginity, having bad sex for the rest of your life or going out to seek it outside your relationship is unhealthy.

So first talk about it- communication is key in all relationship, if you cant talk about it, then your relationship not just your sex life is doomed to failure. So talk it out if you cannot do it face to face then get a counsellor to assist you in this communication.
Explore each other - regardless of how experienced or inexperienced both parties are exploration is key to finding out what turns you on. So take time and touch each other be it an hour, a night or a whole weekend, find out where every thrill spot is on each other's body
Experiment- Cole Porter wrote a song in the 30's called Experiment, it goes. 'Experiment make it your duty day and night'. So as the man says, experiment. If you've never had sex before there are some things you are curious about, well since you are with a partner that loves and wants you, break out and have FUN with FUCKING!


Finally a note to all virgins out there, don't go around with your virginity as a barrier your can be a fabulous, dynamic and inspirational virgin, or you can be a miserable, crabby one who is a 'meet me meet my virginity' sphincter stiffener, however bear in mind a virgin body need not be a virgin mind.

Rebranding yourself, using sex for success!

I got your attention, didn’t I?  I knew I would, after all regardless of what is said about sex and work, everyone is curious about the phenomenon and despite the sniggering and sneering you always wonder how that girl or guy is keeping their job! I mean we all know they slept with the boss to get it and now the boss has left and they still have a job, what’s going on.

From time in memorial, we’ve been told that sex may get you the job but it won’t help you keep it and I am here to tell you that it will.

Let me start by saying I would never recommend you sleep with anybody to get a job and even less to keep sleeping with them to keep a job, honestly it’s not worth the stress or the emotional and psychological repercussions, or the lies and the running around, what I am going to teach you is how to use the idea of sex and the other person’s behavior to leverage yourself for success. 

Also remember this, if you can’t do the job, you might slide under the radar for a while, but eventually you will be caught embarrassed and then your backside will really be out.

When you begin in any organization and you are a person with a vivacious personality I can pretty much guarantee that one or more of your bosses will hit on you. Now you can do as we have been taught and is right, raise a stink by going to HR (but lest we forget this is Nigeria and there’s a chance even the HR official is hitting on you) or you can try these techniques

Boss hits on your verbally or puts his/ her hands on your

Don’t get angry, get smart, a boss who allows their libido to rule their professionalism is a useful tool, so smile nicely, don’t snap or make a fuss, gently remove their hands if its on you and say, ‘its different with you, I won’t be able to let go if we start, so let’s not start something I won’t be able to finish’.

A colleague/ boss initiates sexual banter

Many people get upset about this believing that if they fall into such discussions it would show them as loose, or alternatively using sex for success, however a true professional will tell you don’t get mad, embarrass them. So instead of flustering or gasping and playing the’ oh I’m so good’ game, simply turn around and ask them that do they really have the guts to do what they say because from what you heard, things are not quite what they claim. 

Now you have to be careful as regards this, balance the level of embarrassment with jokes, after all why make an unwanted enemy because if you have a sensitive colleague they could take offence, judge your comment to your target.

In such circumstances stand up, dust yourself off and say, well I did always claim to be all that I guess this proves my point.

Clothing

Dressing for the office is always an interesting enterprise, some dress to impress their colleagues, others want to show how professional they are by their attire, but the smart employee should dress to seduce, intimidate and get that promotion.

Women

Never be sexy both on top and the bottom, if you want to show your legs off today, wear a top that is discrete and heels that make your legs look long for days.

If the top is your thing, cleavage should never be covered up but should never exceed 2 ins

High heels are your friend, they elongate the legs and push the front and back out accordingly.

Men

Tight and shiny is wrong, wrong, wrong. Think like Bond, James Bond, dapper, crisp and ready to make you die another day.

A smart man both in appearance and speech is easy to project fantasies onto, so be all that from the way your hair is combed to the reflective finish of your shoes.

Ring a ring a roses

The chase around the office/ desk is something many employees may have faced from time to time, however instead of running out of the office screaming blue murder, play the libido again. Always go into the office knowing how to open the door without seeming like you are running. Swiftly move sideways towards the door as your boss is coming towards you, smile in a flirting manner, and open the door enough that they are aware of this. When the awareness has been realized, drop the paperwork and pay a stunning compliment about their beauty, intelligence and/ or personality.

If all else fails remember you have something they want, the pure unadulterated sex appeal that oozes from you, so long as you realize that you have that power you can manipulate the senses and achieve professional success.

Warning -  don’t let your sexual potency go to your head because it only takes one word, and one action of stupidity to get the wrong label, always remember a smile is the most powerful tool you have. 

I think I broke my .....

It easy for women to talk about the one minute man, the little finger man, the man that when he’s in you, you cannot feel even when you do all the Kegel in the world, but with all this over expression of the ‘small’ man, how then do you deal with the other end of the scale, the python of the bedroom, the fear inducing penis that is also known as the 2 hander.  

To describe the 2 hander you have to use some visual reference, the penis is the circumference of a coke can and the length of a 5’4 tall woman’s forearm and for most women the sight of this mammoth I enough to put them off sex for the foreseeable future.

For many men the blessing of such a large appendage is also a curse, while they can boast in the men’s room that nobody is as blessed as they are, in the bedroom they are hard pressed to actually find a woman who is willing to engage in any form of sex play for fear of tearing.  

A client once came to me because she had, had sex with a 2 hander and she was afraid that she had broken her vagina.

She first met X at a cocktail party and they hit it off, after a few months of dating the decided to have sex , as which point he sat her down to explain a few facts about himself, he explained that he was very blessed and that most women could not handle him. Being an aware and experimental woman she claimed that she would be the woman to handle him, she was all that and a bag of chips. Unfortunately for her, circumstances did not quite work to her advantage because when the day came it was tears before bedtime.

When she first saw it, she gasp because she could not imagine taking all of him, after what must have been 1 hour of foreplay, her coming twice, a copious amount of Lube he began to insertion (no mode of child birth could have been more carefully planned) and after he got half way he got stuck! No forward movement no backwards, and this was how they stayed for 15 mins until she realized that since this was Nigeria and an emergency room was not an option, she had to use her skills, and since it had been a long hour of foreplay luckily for her despite the lack of movement he came and she was free. Unfortunately she was torn, couldn’t sit with ease for a few days and she never saw this man again even when he offered her an all expense paid trip to the Galapagos Islands.

So a bit of advice if you are of the 2 hander persuasion.

Size is important, but you have to temper that with practicality, if you are looking to have sex with a woman you have to do the following:

Take your time, she might not be able to take all of you are first go, so start with the head and add increments.

Use lubrication, this is absolutely necessary because regardless of how wet she is, you can never be too lubricated in such circumstances.

Women

Don’t be brave if it scares you tell the man and explain to him that you will need some time to acclimatize. 

If you can’t take it stop and it’s not wimpy to run, a burning arse is NOT sexy

If all else fails for both of you, remember there is somebody out there for you and in that case size does matter!

I don’t want no 1 minute man

Long before the 1 minute man song done by Missy ‘Misdemeanor ‘Elliot much has been said about the much laughed about, often rejected 1 minute man.

This legend of the sex world has been ridiculed, insulted and more than anything made to feel like what is happening to him is an anomaly, when over 80% of men have had more than one 1 minute occasion and approximately 25% of men are known if not for one minute at least a maximum of 3 minutes.

Its always difficult for a man who has had issue with quick (or excessively quick) ejaculation to control himself, like bed wetting sometimes, it’s not your choice.  The continuous mocking and rejection by peers and women alike makes it almost impossible for such a man to go and seek advice, because who wants anybody to know they cannot last long enough to pleasure a woman. 

Now the 1 minute man like the woman who takes much longer than average to arrive at orgasm needs patience.

Few steps to extend the minute that do not include, medical or pump mechanisms.

Patience - Sometimes the 1 minute phenomenon has more to do with excitement than any other thing, so what is required on such occasions is that once the deed is done, start again from the beginning with the teasing and stimulating.  Bear in mind that a woman does not automatically come when a man does and there is more than one way to arouse and bring a woman to orgasm, so use your hands, mouths and tongue gentlemen until you are at full mast again.

Cock Ring – Now this sounds like something from the porno lagoon, but cock rings, can provide a stiffening tool for those that need the erection to last longer.   The man or his partner can slip the cock ring on while the penis is till soft, (turning this into a game can also prove stimulating), then as the penis starts to enlarge and engorge, the ring provides a vise at the base of the penis thus constricting blood flow and allowing the penis to stay hard .  Warning this can be a tad uncomfortable, and if your man is not into mild discomfort it might end the whole thing earlier than expected.

Now on the flip side, there might actually be a medical condition attached to the one minute man this is known as Erectile Dysfunction (ED) syndrome.  Now such dysfunctions can actually be very helpful in predicting a heart attack, potentially by years—arterial damage from cardiovascular disease affects the small arteries in the penis first.  Of course this might not give you comfort if all you want to do is go the distance.

Women!

No form of ED is a laughing matter, it takes a patient and understanding woman to be with a man who does not last more than a minute, and I can tell you this, if you have the patience, and are willing to work with your man, the pleasures of multiples are close at hand.