So you've been saving your virginity all your life for the right man or woman. When all your friends were dating and sleeping with their boyfriends and girlfriends, you were waiting for the right person who will fulfil you marry you and share with you this gift of the first time.
However there's a problem, for one of you, you've never found the right person, after years of searching you are still a virgin, you are stuck between fear of never losing it and on the other hand you hold it as a ransom over your partner.
For the other person you did get married but the person you married was also a virgin and things are not going the way you expected, the sex is not as fulfilling as you expected, in fact after the first painful experience you spend your time counting the tiles during sex. So how do you reconcile what you are meant to be feeling with the reality which is not very appealing.
The question now remains is it worth holding on to your virginity when you can't lose it even if you left it on the road for sale to the cheapest bidder or when you finally lose it and the sex is crap!
The truth is that it takes a lot of courage, discipline and fortitude to retain your virginity, in today's society, and if you are saving it for something then more props to you, your choice, so don't give it away under the pressure of fear, instead review what your plan is and what you are doing to achieve your aims.
Looking for the one
Are you one of those people that when you first meet a potential you preach on about the power of virginity? Well while many would say they love a virgin, many more cant handle the responsibility and would shy away from it.
That is not to say don't talk about the fact that you are a virgin, just don't do it on the first date in the first hour.
Consider online dating.
Many people will tell you that dating online is filled with lonely, sad, psycho, and trust me there are many of those. The truth though is there are as many of the above offline as online, but the good thing is that you don't have to commit to anything until you have chatted online, then on the phone, done some investigation online and off (this is Nigeria, its a small country if you can get a name, location, and place of work, you can find out anything about the person) then you go for a meeting/ date; during the day preferably in a very well lit area.
After Marriage WTF?!
If after you meet the one and you have sex and the sex is horrid, well what next, do you accept your lot or go out of your marriage to seek that thrill?For both suggestions NO!
If the sex is bad talk about it. I imagine that after years of holding on to your virginity, having bad sex for the rest of your life or going out to seek it outside your relationship is unhealthy.
So first talk about it- communication is key in all relationship, if you cant talk about it, then your relationship not just your sex life is doomed to failure. So talk it out if you cannot do it face to face then get a counsellor to assist you in this communication.
Explore each other - regardless of how experienced or inexperienced both parties are exploration is key to finding out what turns you on. So take time and touch each other be it an hour, a night or a whole weekend, find out where every thrill spot is on each other's body
Experiment- Cole Porter wrote a song in the 30's called Experiment, it goes. 'Experiment make it your duty day and night'. So as the man says, experiment. If you've never had sex before there are some things you are curious about, well since you are with a partner that loves and wants you, break out and have FUN with FUCKING!
Finally a note to all virgins out there, don't go around with your virginity as a barrier your can be a fabulous, dynamic and inspirational virgin, or you can be a miserable, crabby one who is a 'meet me meet my virginity' sphincter stiffener, however bear in mind a virgin body need not be a virgin mind.
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