Tuesday, 26 June 2012

I'm sorry to inform you the baby is not yours!


Survey carried out by Durex in 2011 showed that Nigerian women are more likely to cheat than any other woman in the WORLD!!! When you couple that with the fact that in research carried out in 2010 8 out of 10 children born are not the children of the men they call daddy, then you have the basis of WTF?!!!
So what do you do when the child you call yours turns to belong to some long forgotten man she doesn’t remember?

Men
Do I Love You?
This is the first question the man who finds himself in such a situation should say.  
I know it’s easy to say but after the first hours, days, weeks maybe even months of anger on this issue, you have to ask the following questions:
·         Do I love this child?
·         Does this child still feel like my child?
·         Do I want to keep this child?
If all the answers are YES, then you really do need to consider what that means and examine the possibility of family counseling, because if this goes on to break you relationship with your partner how are you going to handle the relationship with your child.
If all the answers are NO, you need to really be out of this child’s life, because as much as it will hurt the child to be without a father, it would hurt them more to have to deal with their father not loving them irrespective of what they do.
Is it worth it?
This question is one that applies to both your relationship with the child and the relationship with your partner.
Unfortunately this is not an easy fix answer and that is something you have to work out with a counselor, but before you get to that stage examine your feeling for your partner, do you really think you can get over the betrayal, and are you truly ready to forgive. 
Sometimes saying I forgive is not the same as actually forgiving that takes time and deep thoughts, but being able to forgive will allow you peace of mind and even if you chose not to continue in the relationship you will get some closure, which would help you move on with the rest of your life.

Women
It just happened
Chances are short of rape, it didn’t just happen, you knew at one time that there might be a discrepancy between the time you had sex with your partner and the time you had sex with the other person which brought about this child and dhile you might have felt justified in misleading these people in your life for whatever reason, now that you have been found out, apologise and seek amends.
Listen to the feelings your action has brought about but this does not mean that you should stand for physical, emotional, spiritual or any other form of abuse.
He raped me.
If this is the case and in many cases this has happened, you also need to explain this and discuss this with your partner, and you also need to go to come to terms with what has happened and how you can begin working either with your partner or yourself to get over this.
Child
This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong, this sounds trite but that is the very simple truth. 

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