Survey carried out by Durex in 2011 showed that Nigerian
women are more likely to cheat than any other woman in the WORLD!!! When you
couple that with the fact that in research carried out in 2010 8 out of 10
children born are not the children of the men they call daddy, then you have
the basis of WTF?!!!
So what do you do when the child you call yours turns to
belong to some long forgotten man she doesn’t remember?
Men
Do I Love You?
This is the first question the man who finds himself in such
a situation should say.
I know it’s easy to say but after the first hours, days,
weeks maybe even months of anger on this issue, you have to ask the following
questions:
·
Do I love this child?
·
Does this child still feel like my child?
·
Do I want to keep this child?
If all the answers are YES,
then you really do need to consider what that means and examine the possibility
of family counseling, because if this goes on to break you relationship with
your partner how are you going to handle the relationship with your child.
If all the answers are NO,
you need to really be out of this child’s life, because as much as it will hurt
the child to be without a father, it would hurt them more to have to deal with
their father not loving them irrespective of what they do.
Is it worth it?
This question is one that applies to both your relationship
with the child and the relationship with your partner.
Unfortunately this is not an easy fix answer and that is
something you have to work out with a counselor, but before you get to that
stage examine your feeling for your partner, do you really think you can get
over the betrayal, and are you truly ready to forgive.
Sometimes saying I forgive is not the same as actually forgiving
that takes time and deep thoughts, but being able to forgive will allow you
peace of mind and even if you chose not to continue in the relationship you
will get some closure, which would help you move on with the rest of your life.
Women
It just happened
Chances are short of rape, it didn’t just happen, you knew
at one time that there might be a discrepancy between the time you had sex with
your partner and the time you had sex with the other person which brought about
this child and dhile you might have felt justified in misleading these people
in your life for whatever reason, now that you have been found out, apologise
and seek amends.
Listen to the feelings your action has brought about but
this does not mean that you should stand for physical, emotional, spiritual or
any other form of abuse.
He raped me.
If this is the case and in many cases this has happened, you
also need to explain this and discuss this with your partner, and you also need
to go to come to terms with what has happened and how you can begin working
either with your partner or yourself to get over this.
Child
This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong, this sounds
trite but that is the very simple truth.
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