So as a counselor one of the things I advise people on is to
experiment with their partners, know themselves and try a little ‘talking
dirty’. You know what I mean, I’m sitting
here in thongs, a red lacy bra and sky high red stilettos, just to get the
blood pumping and have him on his way home before you finished the word
stiletto. However I get many people telling me everything from, I don’t know
how to talk dirty, what would people think of me, to others telling me that
they are experts in the art of talking dirty.
Now talking dirty is like dirty dancing, it takes practice,
determination and a willingness to fall on your backside a few times, but
before we get into the intricacies of talking dirty, we first need to determine
where you fall in the list, are you a beginner, intermediate or on the advanced
level.
Beginner
Talking dirty beginners are an interesting breed, they are
either the ones who have never talked dirty before and their speech is peppered
with gaps, giggles (the unsexy ones), questions such as ‘is this really turning
you on’, said with a slight sneer and a difficulty in description. Others have
been talking dirty for years but never got the hang of it and either continue
to do the above or bring reality into play by talking about what happened on
the road, at work, the bills they have to pay etc. Talking dirty is about
fantasy, you have to keep the fantasy going all the time. (this goes for men
and women)
Intermediate
These growing dirty talkers, have been in the game enough to
know its all about the fantasy, they are able to lay down the line, and
titillate the senses, but sometimes can't gauge when to say the right words. So
take for instance they might suddenly throw in an end game uhhhhhh when you
should still be the middle description phase, sometimes this could be
impatience, the other times its distraction. When talking dirty, you have to
match yourself to your partner, in dirty talk as well as life its all about
compromise and accommodation.
Advanced
For you to be an advanced dirty talker, you have been
through the baptism of talk, you know how to start from the simple, querying
the day, the feeling, the urge, to the middle, word stroking, touching on the
things in the mind that turns your partner on, to the final push which is about
maintaining that excitement pitch, to culminate in an explosion. Now some
advanced parties use pictures as a stimulant, because when you get to a certain
point its good see, however not every dirty talker does this for varying
reasons, the least of which is if it’s about talking, let’s talk. Do remember
though some people are more visual than others.
How to raise your stakes.
Beginner
If you are a beginner dirty talkers here are a few things to
bear in mind
Get comfortable – its important to be physically comfortable
when you are doing this, bearing in mind that this is new for you and you might
be feeling uncomfortable,
Get visual cues – its sometimes difficult to get in the mood
when you are not seeing what you are talking about so maybe get out that sexy
bra and pant set. Get some of you toys out to get in the mood, and maybe get
the picture of the person you are talking to, afterall its good to see what you
are turning on.
Privacy – When you are starting out as a dirty talker, you
have to have some privacy, there’s nothing more off putting than trying to talk
dirty when a friend is making funny faces at you or some random person looks at
you like you are the DEVIL!!!!!
Intermediate
As an intermediate, you are already past the wobbly bits of
talking dirty, however you have to balance out your newfound skills with
patience.
Patience – having gained this skill you need to be very
aware of where the other person is, and be willing to take it as quickly or
slowly as it will take to turn them on, remember even though they are getting
turned on by what you are saying, sometimes its just as arousing to turn
someone on as it is to be turned on.
Visual stimuli – if you are a visual person, its important
to let your partner know this so that at this point you can start sending
pictures at the interesting times to keep thing pumping.
Change things up – by now you have a script in your mind
that you follow, kinda like the wham bam thank you ma/sir or talking dirty, but
if you have been talking dirty to the same person for a while, you will need to
change the script because like all things, it can become boring.
Advanced
You on the point, you know how to make a person come just by
breathing people, I don’t need to say
too much for you, but to keep you on point and to help you in continuing to
hone that skill, here are a few pointers.
Change things up – like intermediates, by now you have a
script in your mind that you follow, change things up, keep the words,
scintillating and evocative.
Pay attention – The thing with perfection is that sometimes
we take it for granted so this being the case, you have to not be talking dirty
all the time. You have to make sure that it’s not always about the talking,
sometime you might actually want to get into bed, chair, wall, or wherever
suits you to do the do, or as a friend said do the ‘gbon gbon’!
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