I'm sorry to inform you the baby is not yours!

Survey carried out by Durex in 2011 showed that Nigerian women are more likely to cheat than any other woman in the WORLD!!! When you couple that with the fact that in research carried out in 2010 8 out of 10 children born are not the children of the men they call daddy, then you have the basis of WTF?!!!

So what do you do when the child you call yours turns to belong to some long forgotten man she doesn’t remember?

Men

Do I Love You?

This is the first question the man who finds himself in such a situation should say.  

I know it’s easy to say but after the first hours, days, weeks maybe even months of anger on this issue, you have to ask the following questions:

·         Do I love this child?

·         Does this child still feel like my child?

·         Do I want to keep this child?

If all the answers are YES, then you really do need to consider what that means and examine the possibility of family counseling, because if this goes on to break you relationship with your partner how are you going to handle the relationship with your child.

If all the answers are NO, you need to really be out of this child’s life, because as much as it will hurt the child to be without a father, it would hurt them more to have to deal with their father not loving them irrespective of what they do.

Is it worth it?

This question is one that applies to both your relationship with the child and the relationship with your partner.

Unfortunately this is not an easy fix answer and that is something you have to work out with a counselor, but before you get to that stage examine your feeling for your partner, do you really think you can get over the betrayal, and are you truly ready to forgive. 

Sometimes saying I forgive is not the same as actually forgiving that takes time and deep thoughts, but being able to forgive will allow you peace of mind and even if you chose not to continue in the relationship you will get some closure, which would help you move on with the rest of your life.

Women

It just happened

Chances are short of rape, it didn’t just happen, you knew at one time that there might be a discrepancy between the time you had sex with your partner and the time you had sex with the other person which brought about this child and dhile you might have felt justified in misleading these people in your life for whatever reason, now that you have been found out, apologise and seek amends.

Listen to the feelings your action has brought about but this does not mean that you should stand for physical, emotional, spiritual or any other form of abuse.

He raped me.

If this is the case and in many cases this has happened, you also need to explain this and discuss this with your partner, and you also need to go to come to terms with what has happened and how you can begin working either with your partner or yourself to get over this.

Child

This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong, this sounds trite but that is the very simple truth. 

What Makes Men Fall in Love?

Have you ever wondered how to make a man fall in love with you?
Are you in a relationship where the man is just not all in Love just kinda hanging around the edges of Love?
Well find out What Makes Men Fall in Love?
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/What-Makes-Men-Fall-in-Love

Virginity: Gift or Curse

So you've been saving your virginity all your life for the right man or woman. When all your friends were dating and sleeping with their boyfriends and girlfriends, you were waiting for the right person who will fulfil you marry you and share with you this gift of the first time.

However there's a problem, for one of you, you've never found the right person, after years of searching you are still a virgin, you are stuck between fear of never losing it and on the other hand you hold it as a ransom over your partner.

For the other person you did get married but the person you married was also a virgin and things are not going the way you expected, the sex is not as fulfilling as you expected, in fact after the first painful experience you spend your time counting the tiles during sex. So how do you reconcile what you are meant to be feeling with the reality which is not very appealing.

The question now remains is it worth holding on to your virginity when you can't lose it even if you left it on the road for sale to the cheapest bidder or when you finally lose it and the sex is crap!

The truth is that it takes a lot of courage, discipline and fortitude to retain your virginity, in today's society, and if you are saving it for something then more props to you, your choice, so don't give it away under the pressure of fear, instead review what your plan is and what you are doing to achieve your aims.

Looking for the one
Are you one of those people that when you first meet a potential you preach on about the power of virginity? Well while many would say they love a virgin, many more cant handle the responsibility and would shy away from it.
That is not to say don't talk about the fact that you are a virgin, just don't do it on the first date in the first hour.

Consider online dating.
Many people will tell you that dating online is filled with lonely, sad, psycho, and trust me there are many of those. The truth though is there are as many of the above offline as online, but the good thing is that you don't have to commit to anything until you have chatted online, then on the phone, done some investigation online and off (this is Nigeria, its a small country if you can get a name, location, and place of work, you can find out anything about the person) then you go for a meeting/ date; during the day preferably in a very well lit area.

After Marriage WTF?!

If after you meet the one and you have sex and the sex is horrid, well what next, do you accept your lot or go out of your marriage to seek that thrill?

For both suggestions NO!

If the sex is bad talk about it. I imagine that after years of holding on to your virginity, having bad sex for the rest of your life or going out to seek it outside your relationship is unhealthy.

So first talk about it- communication is key in all relationship, if you cant talk about it, then your relationship not just your sex life is doomed to failure. So talk it out if you cannot do it face to face then get a counsellor to assist you in this communication.
Explore each other - regardless of how experienced or inexperienced both parties are exploration is key to finding out what turns you on. So take time and touch each other be it an hour, a night or a whole weekend, find out where every thrill spot is on each other's body
Experiment- Cole Porter wrote a song in the 30's called Experiment, it goes. 'Experiment make it your duty day and night'. So as the man says, experiment. If you've never had sex before there are some things you are curious about, well since you are with a partner that loves and wants you, break out and have FUN with FUCKING!


Finally a note to all virgins out there, don't go around with your virginity as a barrier your can be a fabulous, dynamic and inspirational virgin, or you can be a miserable, crabby one who is a 'meet me meet my virginity' sphincter stiffener, however bear in mind a virgin body need not be a virgin mind.

Rebranding yourself, using sex for success!

I got your attention, didn’t I?  I knew I would, after all regardless of what is said about sex and work, everyone is curious about the phenomenon and despite the sniggering and sneering you always wonder how that girl or guy is keeping their job! I mean we all know they slept with the boss to get it and now the boss has left and they still have a job, what’s going on.

From time in memorial, we’ve been told that sex may get you the job but it won’t help you keep it and I am here to tell you that it will.

Let me start by saying I would never recommend you sleep with anybody to get a job and even less to keep sleeping with them to keep a job, honestly it’s not worth the stress or the emotional and psychological repercussions, or the lies and the running around, what I am going to teach you is how to use the idea of sex and the other person’s behavior to leverage yourself for success. 

Also remember this, if you can’t do the job, you might slide under the radar for a while, but eventually you will be caught embarrassed and then your backside will really be out.

When you begin in any organization and you are a person with a vivacious personality I can pretty much guarantee that one or more of your bosses will hit on you. Now you can do as we have been taught and is right, raise a stink by going to HR (but lest we forget this is Nigeria and there’s a chance even the HR official is hitting on you) or you can try these techniques

Boss hits on your verbally or puts his/ her hands on your

Don’t get angry, get smart, a boss who allows their libido to rule their professionalism is a useful tool, so smile nicely, don’t snap or make a fuss, gently remove their hands if its on you and say, ‘its different with you, I won’t be able to let go if we start, so let’s not start something I won’t be able to finish’.

A colleague/ boss initiates sexual banter

Many people get upset about this believing that if they fall into such discussions it would show them as loose, or alternatively using sex for success, however a true professional will tell you don’t get mad, embarrass them. So instead of flustering or gasping and playing the’ oh I’m so good’ game, simply turn around and ask them that do they really have the guts to do what they say because from what you heard, things are not quite what they claim. 

Now you have to be careful as regards this, balance the level of embarrassment with jokes, after all why make an unwanted enemy because if you have a sensitive colleague they could take offence, judge your comment to your target.

In such circumstances stand up, dust yourself off and say, well I did always claim to be all that I guess this proves my point.

Clothing

Dressing for the office is always an interesting enterprise, some dress to impress their colleagues, others want to show how professional they are by their attire, but the smart employee should dress to seduce, intimidate and get that promotion.

Women

Never be sexy both on top and the bottom, if you want to show your legs off today, wear a top that is discrete and heels that make your legs look long for days.

If the top is your thing, cleavage should never be covered up but should never exceed 2 ins

High heels are your friend, they elongate the legs and push the front and back out accordingly.

Men

Tight and shiny is wrong, wrong, wrong. Think like Bond, James Bond, dapper, crisp and ready to make you die another day.

A smart man both in appearance and speech is easy to project fantasies onto, so be all that from the way your hair is combed to the reflective finish of your shoes.

Ring a ring a roses

The chase around the office/ desk is something many employees may have faced from time to time, however instead of running out of the office screaming blue murder, play the libido again. Always go into the office knowing how to open the door without seeming like you are running. Swiftly move sideways towards the door as your boss is coming towards you, smile in a flirting manner, and open the door enough that they are aware of this. When the awareness has been realized, drop the paperwork and pay a stunning compliment about their beauty, intelligence and/ or personality.

If all else fails remember you have something they want, the pure unadulterated sex appeal that oozes from you, so long as you realize that you have that power you can manipulate the senses and achieve professional success.

Warning -  don’t let your sexual potency go to your head because it only takes one word, and one action of stupidity to get the wrong label, always remember a smile is the most powerful tool you have.