Ask for it

I have been approached by a lot of clients recently telling me that they feel that they are always in the wrong sexually with their partner and they don’t know what is going on.

Time and time again, they are faced with the wrinkled nose after sex, and the ‘yes I did come, but you know’………, from what these men are saying, it seems that women are doing one of the many NO NO’s in sex that they should never do, they are asking their men to read their minds, and moods, and the men are worried about being seen as freaks!

I know I have said this before but if you want something, you have to ask for it, and not the ‘you know my friend said that……’ you have to be blunt with your partner because if you don’t tell them, who will?

Asking for it in Nigeria can be a dangerous pursuit I admit, because some men might feel threatened that you know so much about yourself and your pleasure, for others it’s a turn on for them to know that you know what pleases you. On the flip side men also find it difficult asking for that they want because they don’t want to be called weird or freaks, but in the game of sex like in life, if you don’t ask for what you want, you end up with blue balls (this is a very equal opportunity description)

How to ask for it:

Letting your freak flag fly is not an easy thing but honesty from the very beginning is important, if you are the sort of person who needs your partner to live face first down there you have to say, however if you haven’t said before and the sex just seems to be going from bad to worse, here are a few things to help.

1.       Never tell your partner immediately after sex that the sex was crap! Now I don’t mean lie if after sex they ask if you liked it or not, I mean be considerate, say something like, I wish we could try……… By doing this, you are not being confrontational or dismissive you are tackling the issue without conflict with is very important if you want to have round 2, 3 or 4.

2.        If you are too shy to say it, get a pen and paper, use your phone, whatever way in which you wish to communicate it, send the message that you want to try something else because you could (key word here) ‘get more pleasure together if something new was tried’.

3.       If all else fails, you go for the sledge hammer approach, be simple and straight with your partner, tell them you are not having fun in bed, you are not coming you want to try other things. I would suggest that at this time, have a list of those things, and also listen you your partner. For some of them they fact that you are not getting satisfaction is news to them but like all things with active communication you can solve about 85% of your problems.

When all is said and done, nobody knows you like you know yourself, so if you don’t know what turns you on and you are not willing to experiment with your partner, I am sorry to say the issues are deeper that I am just not getting off.