I think I broke my .....

It easy for women to talk about the one minute man, the little finger man, the man that when he’s in you, you cannot feel even when you do all the Kegel in the world, but with all this over expression of the ‘small’ man, how then do you deal with the other end of the scale, the python of the bedroom, the fear inducing penis that is also known as the 2 hander.  

To describe the 2 hander you have to use some visual reference, the penis is the circumference of a coke can and the length of a 5’4 tall woman’s forearm and for most women the sight of this mammoth I enough to put them off sex for the foreseeable future.

For many men the blessing of such a large appendage is also a curse, while they can boast in the men’s room that nobody is as blessed as they are, in the bedroom they are hard pressed to actually find a woman who is willing to engage in any form of sex play for fear of tearing.  

A client once came to me because she had, had sex with a 2 hander and she was afraid that she had broken her vagina.

She first met X at a cocktail party and they hit it off, after a few months of dating the decided to have sex , as which point he sat her down to explain a few facts about himself, he explained that he was very blessed and that most women could not handle him. Being an aware and experimental woman she claimed that she would be the woman to handle him, she was all that and a bag of chips. Unfortunately for her, circumstances did not quite work to her advantage because when the day came it was tears before bedtime.

When she first saw it, she gasp because she could not imagine taking all of him, after what must have been 1 hour of foreplay, her coming twice, a copious amount of Lube he began to insertion (no mode of child birth could have been more carefully planned) and after he got half way he got stuck! No forward movement no backwards, and this was how they stayed for 15 mins until she realized that since this was Nigeria and an emergency room was not an option, she had to use her skills, and since it had been a long hour of foreplay luckily for her despite the lack of movement he came and she was free. Unfortunately she was torn, couldn’t sit with ease for a few days and she never saw this man again even when he offered her an all expense paid trip to the Galapagos Islands.

So a bit of advice if you are of the 2 hander persuasion.

Size is important, but you have to temper that with practicality, if you are looking to have sex with a woman you have to do the following:

Take your time, she might not be able to take all of you are first go, so start with the head and add increments.

Use lubrication, this is absolutely necessary because regardless of how wet she is, you can never be too lubricated in such circumstances.

Women

Don’t be brave if it scares you tell the man and explain to him that you will need some time to acclimatize. 

If you can’t take it stop and it’s not wimpy to run, a burning arse is NOT sexy

If all else fails for both of you, remember there is somebody out there for you and in that case size does matter!

I don’t want no 1 minute man

Long before the 1 minute man song done by Missy ‘Misdemeanor ‘Elliot much has been said about the much laughed about, often rejected 1 minute man.

This legend of the sex world has been ridiculed, insulted and more than anything made to feel like what is happening to him is an anomaly, when over 80% of men have had more than one 1 minute occasion and approximately 25% of men are known if not for one minute at least a maximum of 3 minutes.

Its always difficult for a man who has had issue with quick (or excessively quick) ejaculation to control himself, like bed wetting sometimes, it’s not your choice.  The continuous mocking and rejection by peers and women alike makes it almost impossible for such a man to go and seek advice, because who wants anybody to know they cannot last long enough to pleasure a woman. 

Now the 1 minute man like the woman who takes much longer than average to arrive at orgasm needs patience.

Few steps to extend the minute that do not include, medical or pump mechanisms.

Patience - Sometimes the 1 minute phenomenon has more to do with excitement than any other thing, so what is required on such occasions is that once the deed is done, start again from the beginning with the teasing and stimulating.  Bear in mind that a woman does not automatically come when a man does and there is more than one way to arouse and bring a woman to orgasm, so use your hands, mouths and tongue gentlemen until you are at full mast again.

Cock Ring – Now this sounds like something from the porno lagoon, but cock rings, can provide a stiffening tool for those that need the erection to last longer.   The man or his partner can slip the cock ring on while the penis is till soft, (turning this into a game can also prove stimulating), then as the penis starts to enlarge and engorge, the ring provides a vise at the base of the penis thus constricting blood flow and allowing the penis to stay hard .  Warning this can be a tad uncomfortable, and if your man is not into mild discomfort it might end the whole thing earlier than expected.

Now on the flip side, there might actually be a medical condition attached to the one minute man this is known as Erectile Dysfunction (ED) syndrome.  Now such dysfunctions can actually be very helpful in predicting a heart attack, potentially by years—arterial damage from cardiovascular disease affects the small arteries in the penis first.  Of course this might not give you comfort if all you want to do is go the distance.

Women!

No form of ED is a laughing matter, it takes a patient and understanding woman to be with a man who does not last more than a minute, and I can tell you this, if you have the patience, and are willing to work with your man, the pleasures of multiples are close at hand.  

The Ice Queen Cometh!

So after 3 months of dating, and, 1 month of petting (on, above or below the clothing action, no nakedness) you are ready to do it, get down, get busy and babes has been giving all the signal, then you go to bed and what happens, the woman is not wet, she’s not reacting and you know she’s faking it with all that oooh and aaaaaah.

Again you try because you are not a quitter but after 3 attempts one of them which nearly cost you your middle finger as you try to find the G Spot, you know this girl is FRIGID! In fact a freezer has more in it than this girl, so you go.

A few months later you see the girl again, she is with some man and they are in LOVE!  Girl is so loved up you know they are having good SEX but what happened why is she all over him when you still have freezer burn. 

So what happened, why has this girl suddenly gone from subzero to hell in high heels , sorry to tell you but you have just  lost out because you actually believe women are frigid!

Let me put an end to this particular myth, WOMEN ARE NOT FRIGID! 

There are many reasons why women are not responsive to men, from the basic, ‘ you don’t know what you are doing and you are not turning me on’ to the more emotional  ‘something messed up happened to me and I can’t get over it’, and only a man with patience and hit that spot right.

Men

Despite the term turn me on, women are not switches, they don’t automatically switch on and off, they need to be slowly warmed and when they are reaching maximum velocity stoked to make sure the explosion is memorable. I use nuclear terms because I figured if I used romantic ones you might get turned off.

It is important to ensure whenever you are having sex with a woman that you are touching all parts of her. The truth is that some women don’t know what turns them on, or maybe they have difficulty talking about it. It could be they are Subs and want a man who will be masterful, or it could be that they are Doms and they want a man who they can be masterful with.  Whatever the case may be discussion in and out of bed, exploration and more importantly patience is a virtue, and once you have gotten to her spot, bye bye frigid, hello Mama!

Women

Men are not mind readers, if you don’t know what turns you on or even tell them what it is that makes you want to jump out of your skin they won’t know.

To this end it is your responsibility to explore your erotic zones, understand your body and know if you are a penetration mama, oral is A okay, tie me up or tie me down, do what you are told woman. If you don’t know who will!

Something messed up happened to me in the past and I just can’t get over it’

Men

This is a thorny subject because is something messed up your woman, she needs more than patience she might need medical support in the form of a counselor.  There are women walking around with the most put together exterior and a very messed up interior, so here are a few tips to help you help her:

Listen

When you are having sex or even talking with your partner, it is important to listen to what she is saying regarding her disappointments and do overs. This can give you a clue into how you need to manage her arousal and her sex.

Patience

For some women its not that they cannot get aroused they just take a longer time to get there, so slow and gently wins the race (ok sometimes slow and hard wins the race) whatever the case may be patient

Understand

If you do the above, you might  begin to hear some things that will blow you mind, and could even make you re evaluate this person, whatever you do be understanding and do not be an arse hole and demonise her.

Women

It’s never easy to express the challenges, pain and fear that you have faced because after all who wants damaged goods, but you have to remember, many things have happened in life and if this person wants to be with you (be it for a night or a lifetime) they need to know how to understand you and where to stroke you for success.

Express yourself ladies.

Before I round up this I need to bring up the one topic that men use to justify their ‘she is frigid argument’, ‘she has been circumcised’.  I hate to break this to you guys, just because a woman was circumcised does not mean she cannot achieve orgasm.  What female circumcision (by the way this is a very barbaric custom, I don’t care who gets upset) means is that the skin on the clitoris has been hardened but still has feelings (kind of if you have a cut that heals over), it just takes a bit more time to stimulate those parts of her to get the reactions.

Now for those of you men who wonder why you should go through all the trouble, well, if you have never taken the time to give a woman the orgasm of her life, then you have never gotten the feeling that you are the most wonderful, powerful, god type man in existence!

Want to have that feeling? Do the above!