Since I started having kids, I don’t feel as sexy as I used to. How do I get back into the groove?

Dear loosing the sexy feeling,

The feeling you are having is very common among mothers, the daily grind of life together with the role of being a mother makes life too exhausting sometimes to even consider having sex or even to feel sexy.

Getting back to this part of yourself takes some time, its not something that happens over night and it is something that you have to invest in. You have to be willing to leave your children with people you trust so that you can take the time to go and have a manicure, pedicure by yourself. 

You have to be willing to spend the money and invest in a relaxing massage and also buy those sexy lingerie that when you wear you know that you are sexy.

You have to be able to ask your husband for help when things begin to feel overwhelming. 

In addition to this, you have to find out what turns you on again.

Like all thing worth knowing you have to study yourself again, find out again what makes you feel sexy. Is it a hot quickie, footsie in a restaurant, long slow foreplay, once you find this out again, start to initiate this with your partner and see that changes that are revealed.

I would suggest the following steps to rediscover your sensual and sexual self:

·         Take time to hang out with your friends in a non hectic or rushed environment. Nothing makes you remember who you were better than hanging out with people who see you and know you as you before you became a mother, wife or worker bee

·         Have a spa treatment. The art of relaxation is an art that few people think that they deserve, if you are not at death’s door many people don’t think that they ought to take time to relax. The truth is however, if you cannot relax and put away  the troubles of the day and  month etc, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy getting to know your husband again

·         Get to know you partner again . You might take it for granted that as you are stressed, your partner is not stressed as well, take some time to go out to dinner with no children, and when you return home explore his body the way you  remember and  let him do that same to you. 

This is not all you need to do to get your groove back, but it’s a first step.