Chris Rock said in a comedy sketch of his
that there is nothing worse than dating a girl with Daddy issues, and boy is he
right!
Be it because daddy did not love you
enough, or he loved you too much, or simply because you will never be as rich
as daddy, women with Daddy issues are not to be trifled with. Unfortunately for
most men, most women have daddy issues, and Nigeria being the dynamic messed
up, I am a married bachelor country that it is, this is a breeding ground for
messed up women.
Spotting the daddy issues
There are a myriad things that a woman can
do to show that she has major daddy issues, since the list is exhaustive, I
shall highlight a few and give some tips on how to either overcome it or escape
without being too much of the bad guy.
My daddy is the best daddy in the world
The truth is that all girls should be
daddy’s princesses, and all boys mummy’s princes, the thing is, parents can
raise their children to feel valued but also independent (or at least they
should), unfortunately this dream tends often to be just that, a dream.
The
Princess on crack daughter, is one of those people who are never happy, I mean
you could fuck her with a diamond dick and she will complain that its too hard,
too shiny, too faceted, too diamond.
These girls have always had daddy to run to
and believe that their partner should do everything daddy does (pay for the
car, the house, pocket money, hair allowance etc) but also fuck in a way that
would make daddy proud and also not lose her credibility as daddy’s girl.
Now while this type of girl is a pain in
the, you know where, she is redeemable, but it isn’t an easy transition.
1.
Talk to her – You have to let
her understand that you are NOT her father. Whatever it is that she gets for
him you are a new breed and she needs to be aware of this and accept that you
will have to struggle now so that in future your daughters can also be spoilt
brats.
2.
Give in – Yes I said it,
anybody who stays with a Daddy’s princess, and doesn’t do the hard talk has
accepted that this is the sort of person they want to be with and also that
they will spend the rest of their life giving to this person everything,
whether they have it or not. This is not to say that as the family grows and
evolves things won’t change, but truth is this person has abdicated all rights
to complain because they didn’t deal with it in the beginning.
You are just like my abandoning father
I hate to say it but A LOT of women in
Nigeria fall in to this category.
Daddy abandoned them because he worked so
hard and never saw them, he got a second wife and mommy didn’t agree (stole
this bit from Akon), he went abroad to work and married a white woman to get
legitimacy, and the list goes on. This is the sort of woman that every time you
go out the door, it means you are abandoning her (maybe I’m overstating it a
bit but you know what I mean).
This is a toughie because life is never as
simple as daddy left, the issues is what happened after daddy left, he broke
her trust. The one man in the world who is meant to love her due to genetic
make up left her alone and now why shouldn’t all other men?
1.
Loving these women is an act of
courage because you have to be there, where? There, wherever she is when she
starts to panic that you will leave, until she get to the point that she
accepts that you wouldn’t, or that if you do leave its not an abandonment but
the end of this relationship. To this end, if you chose to end the
relationship, do it properly, there must be no maybes.
2.
Be honest from the beginning,
these women can spot a fart in the air 3 days after you expressed air and are
very sensitive to lies, (generally because they are always expecting you to
lie), so honesty from the beginning will save you all a lot of time and
aggravation. Irrespective of the type of relationship you want to have with
her, being honest about it from the beginning determines the parameters of
behavior and expectations.
Daddy hurt me
I can’t be flippant about this, as noted in
previous posts, when the person who is meant to love you the most breaks that
trust due to their own sickness, it is difficult to put into words the sense of
betrayal and damage that follows, and while you can be there for your partner,
they also need to deal with what happened.
Dealing with the fall out of Daddy hurt me
is a process that involves, counselling, understanding and most of all
acceptance that what happened was wrong but it wasn’t their fault.
So next time you meet a woman with Daddy
issues, find out which of the above broad spectrum they fall into to help guide
you in dealing with them, or otherwise you know where to find me.
